Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Monday, 11 November 2013
Not many words
Er, I probably should have mentioned that I'm home safe now. I kept the Facebook updates coming but neglected my blog. It's been really nice so far, the wedding was lovely and definitely worth every second on the plane to have been a part of it. Being with family is lovely, and the smell of an Australian spring (with thunderstorms!) is a real treat.
Wednesday, 9 October 2013
Gut Feelings
I'm really fretting about my home visit. I've said before that I'm worried I'll just cry the whole entire week... A few days is barely enough to even hug my family. I'll be so incredibly tired and rocked. I'm scared I won't want to come back; but at the same time the thought that I'll have to leave this part of the world behind one day makes me really sad. I've grown attached to my London. Well, the people here. Not so much the city. But I will miss the tube. And the variety of accents.
It's not that I'm not excited. I am. I cannot wait for the wedding! It's going to be amazing, and if I cry there it will be for joy. I can't wait to see my family and friends and wake up to magpies singing and see how my garden has grown (OK so maybe it's not my garden) and to go to St Marks and see all the beautiful kids who have probably grown a few inches taller by now. But I could crash and burn (either when I'm back in London or on the plane - literally). It could make me even more indecisive about what to do next year.
I'll have to say goodbye all over again.
That's going to be really, really hard.
I've been feeling pretty rotten for the last two weeks because I'm in the process of changing medication. It's making me even more tired than usual and I'm waking up feeling hungry and nauseous at the same time. Of course, that really saps my supply of patience and anybody knows that getting kids ready for school in the morning can be a bit of an ordeal. I'm going to try my hardest to get to bed early every night I can, and hope that these side effects will go away. Waking up to the prospect of the stress of the morning doesn't help. I need to get more things going during the day: things I can look forward to. I had coffee with a friend yesterday which was real nice; and though it was only an hour, having to go out and get the tube and having a nice conversation with a peer (!!) was really worthwhile. It's funny how you can feel less tired if you've been occupied for a lot of the day than if you sat around not doing much.
So that's a little of where I'm at right now. There is a heck of a lot more I could write, but not here. Besides, I feel like I've talked a lot of things out with a lot of people but haven't got as far as dealing with anything, because I still don't know what can be done. What can be done? I'm not Wonder Woman. A lot of the time I feel like I'm not cut out for this. I'm not a parent. But maybe I'm not trying hard enough. It's not my fault things are the way they are, but am I helping? I don't know what to do.
It's not that I'm not excited. I am. I cannot wait for the wedding! It's going to be amazing, and if I cry there it will be for joy. I can't wait to see my family and friends and wake up to magpies singing and see how my garden has grown (OK so maybe it's not my garden) and to go to St Marks and see all the beautiful kids who have probably grown a few inches taller by now. But I could crash and burn (either when I'm back in London or on the plane - literally). It could make me even more indecisive about what to do next year.
I'll have to say goodbye all over again.
That's going to be really, really hard.
I've been feeling pretty rotten for the last two weeks because I'm in the process of changing medication. It's making me even more tired than usual and I'm waking up feeling hungry and nauseous at the same time. Of course, that really saps my supply of patience and anybody knows that getting kids ready for school in the morning can be a bit of an ordeal. I'm going to try my hardest to get to bed early every night I can, and hope that these side effects will go away. Waking up to the prospect of the stress of the morning doesn't help. I need to get more things going during the day: things I can look forward to. I had coffee with a friend yesterday which was real nice; and though it was only an hour, having to go out and get the tube and having a nice conversation with a peer (!!) was really worthwhile. It's funny how you can feel less tired if you've been occupied for a lot of the day than if you sat around not doing much.
So that's a little of where I'm at right now. There is a heck of a lot more I could write, but not here. Besides, I feel like I've talked a lot of things out with a lot of people but haven't got as far as dealing with anything, because I still don't know what can be done. What can be done? I'm not Wonder Woman. A lot of the time I feel like I'm not cut out for this. I'm not a parent. But maybe I'm not trying hard enough. It's not my fault things are the way they are, but am I helping? I don't know what to do.
Friday, 20 September 2013
Apples
I got Spotify premium. No more ads, and any song I want on my phone any time - I'm one happy chappy. But I might be sitting at the table and have my phone playing on the dock, and I'll think of something and want to Google it straight away - oh no! I can't! I think I'm apple-dicted. Oh well.
Yesterday I spent an hour or so thinking about my future. Result: I'm definitely staying in England until mid-late June of next year (except for the quick duck to Australia in 7 weeks!!). I'm hoping to start a Bachelor of Education (Primary) through UNE part time by distance in February next year, whilst over here obviously. I believe I'll have the time to do it because both the kids are at school full time as of next week. It will be good to get other parts of my brain active again. Until then I'm going to fill my time with a pottery course if I can find one that suits me, and volunteering at the kid's school if they'll have me. And more of the usual: watching TV, eating, more meeting up with friends & other Au Pairs, going to the nearby shopping centres... Oh and I'm going to get back into craft when I find a good shop. I'm also going to have to buy a new computer soon, as Horatio (current MacBook) is getting quite old and outdated. I guess I'll get a MacBook Pro, but I'll have to get one from home not the UK I suppose... It's awkward when I have to type the pound sign.
Well a lot of that was a bit trivial. About the primary teaching degree, maybe some (Mum) will read it and think 'UNE!?! Are you mad??' Well it's not the best uni but I'm already enrolled there (I deferred my arts degree for two years at the beginning of this year) and if I'm going to study by distance it may as well be from the one in my home town. Some may think 'primary teaching? are you mad??' Maybe. I thought I was sure about it a few months ago. Being a nanny has taught me a lot and sometimes makes me doubt I could do the job, but I had doubts about coping away from home and here I am - coping.
I still have to decide what I'm doing for the rest of my life?!
Hey I just got a link: Application - App - Apple. Clever sneaky people.
So I could stay on with what I'm doing after June next year, maybe till the new year. I like to round things off at a nice time. I probably ought to do some more traveling, but to be honest I'm not dying to go to Europe right away. If I never got to go I wouldn't really mind. I'd rather spend a year (or less - don't panic!) teaching at a school in South America. I've always wanted to do that. I'd also like to go to India. I won't have heaps of money saved when my visa runs out, and obviously I'll have to have somewhere to live and something to live on when I settle Down Under again to finish my degree. And then I'll be off again... or maybe not. Who knows. Some people want their life mapped out before them, but where's the fun in that? I've got lots of ideas floating around above my head - maybe they're apples - and if my choices didn't affect anybody I'd happily keep them up there until one was ripe and ready to eat. But you can't flit around carelessly like that. I'm going to make my decision about next year after the Australia trip. It's hardly a trip. More like a stop over. I wonder if anyone's getting married in Abu Dhabi while I'm there...
Yesterday I spent an hour or so thinking about my future. Result: I'm definitely staying in England until mid-late June of next year (except for the quick duck to Australia in 7 weeks!!). I'm hoping to start a Bachelor of Education (Primary) through UNE part time by distance in February next year, whilst over here obviously. I believe I'll have the time to do it because both the kids are at school full time as of next week. It will be good to get other parts of my brain active again. Until then I'm going to fill my time with a pottery course if I can find one that suits me, and volunteering at the kid's school if they'll have me. And more of the usual: watching TV, eating, more meeting up with friends & other Au Pairs, going to the nearby shopping centres... Oh and I'm going to get back into craft when I find a good shop. I'm also going to have to buy a new computer soon, as Horatio (current MacBook) is getting quite old and outdated. I guess I'll get a MacBook Pro, but I'll have to get one from home not the UK I suppose... It's awkward when I have to type the pound sign.
Well a lot of that was a bit trivial. About the primary teaching degree, maybe some (Mum) will read it and think 'UNE!?! Are you mad??' Well it's not the best uni but I'm already enrolled there (I deferred my arts degree for two years at the beginning of this year) and if I'm going to study by distance it may as well be from the one in my home town. Some may think 'primary teaching? are you mad??' Maybe. I thought I was sure about it a few months ago. Being a nanny has taught me a lot and sometimes makes me doubt I could do the job, but I had doubts about coping away from home and here I am - coping.
I still have to decide what I'm doing for the rest of my life?!
Hey I just got a link: Application - App - Apple. Clever sneaky people.
So I could stay on with what I'm doing after June next year, maybe till the new year. I like to round things off at a nice time. I probably ought to do some more traveling, but to be honest I'm not dying to go to Europe right away. If I never got to go I wouldn't really mind. I'd rather spend a year (or less - don't panic!) teaching at a school in South America. I've always wanted to do that. I'd also like to go to India. I won't have heaps of money saved when my visa runs out, and obviously I'll have to have somewhere to live and something to live on when I settle Down Under again to finish my degree. And then I'll be off again... or maybe not. Who knows. Some people want their life mapped out before them, but where's the fun in that? I've got lots of ideas floating around above my head - maybe they're apples - and if my choices didn't affect anybody I'd happily keep them up there until one was ripe and ready to eat. But you can't flit around carelessly like that. I'm going to make my decision about next year after the Australia trip. It's hardly a trip. More like a stop over. I wonder if anyone's getting married in Abu Dhabi while I'm there...
Tuesday, 27 August 2013
Feeling the pull of my home
Right now, after visiting a Facebook page, I am REALLY TEMPTED to get a new account... So I thought I'd put a desperate plea out there for some Armidillian & general Aussie love. Please email with even the most trivial of news and PHOTOS. That would be tops. I just need to see my friends. Please. Just no bushwalking snaps because that would be make me insanely homesick and jealous.
BUT it's 75 days until I'm home for a visit! Yes that's right! Nothing but divine intervention will stop me now from getting to that wedding. I'm super duper excited. Unfortunately it's a super duper short stay, and by that I mean Friday 8th Nov - Tuesday 12th Nov (yeah I'm gonna be wrecked). I wasn't going to make a big thing of it because I will not physically be able to see everyone that I would like to, but what the heck. If you're around that weekend I'll see you at church and maybe I will have some kind of gathering! Yay!!
BUT it's 75 days until I'm home for a visit! Yes that's right! Nothing but divine intervention will stop me now from getting to that wedding. I'm super duper excited. Unfortunately it's a super duper short stay, and by that I mean Friday 8th Nov - Tuesday 12th Nov (yeah I'm gonna be wrecked). I wasn't going to make a big thing of it because I will not physically be able to see everyone that I would like to, but what the heck. If you're around that weekend I'll see you at church and maybe I will have some kind of gathering! Yay!!
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