What happens when I don't have a post plan

I know, that last post was disappointingly short. Oh, the irony.
Perhaps I will dwell on the weather, or my latest TV interests. Whinge about the fact that it is only snowing on the ad breaks, and for the happy families of Tesco customers. Britain loves Christmas! So unashamedly! Maybe it's just my family, but I always thought everyone felt that carols, Santa, trees, and fake snow were hateful things that could only be (barely) tolerated in December. OK that's an exaggeration. But maybe it's because it's home to the white Christmas (is it?). And Charles Dickens. Anyway, I'm with the right people in order to do the proper English thing. Even carol singing! Perhaps I should buy a white hand muff.

Needless to say, it's cold here. Not bitterly. And I like my coat. But the afternoons! They are four hours long. Then it's dark. That's right, close the curtains and turn on the lights. After you've seen the squirrel climb up the house to chill in the loft. Squirrels have this speedy but graceful way of swimming along the ground. Kind of like a mermaid would, but with more bounce and a bushier tail. I still haven't seen a badger or a hedgehog. But I have seen foxes.

And Facebook has taken over a bit, as I knew it would. But if it means I can keep up with even a few of my much loved friends back home, then I don't care.

I am so happy here. I feel like I've been back much longer than a week. I don't love the job hunting process, but it's just one of those things.
This might not come as much of a surprise, though it is a shame. Since my big update I haven't come very far with God. I haven't had one quiet time or done anything out of the ordinary except sing. But I just keep asking God to help me. I know I need to just knuckle down and get into it, instead of sit around waiting for a big enormous indescribable feeling or a shiny cloud to show me what I need to know (which is what I've been doing for years). But the devil still has so much power over my thoughts. "You're just wanting to be Christian again for security. You still don't believe in God, but you want to because your favourite people do." And now I can't bring any other lies to mind, is that him shutting them off so I can't fight them? Or is it true, am I fake? Is God real?

I've had this thing lately where I want to get myself sorted and work through my whole life and deal with all the issues I've got by writing everything down, and so become a well-rounded all-figured-out person, with no baggage and no complexes... HELLO! Is that not the dumbest thing you've ever read? As if I could do that. As if I could recall all the crap one experiences and resolve it on my own and get on with life with no regrets or burdens. It's a nice thought, that I could be totally weightless in order to help others and give infinitely, and make the perfect friend and maybe even wife one day...

...All my Christian friends be like: "Um, Jess? Have you forgotten everything you learnt in church? Jesus does that FOR us! Bit by bit, of course, and we won't be perfect until we reach heaven, but you know that you ought to just lay it all before him and he'll sort it!"

Oh yeah. Man, God must be mighty patient.

Not Quite News

Updates are definitely getting few and far between. This is not because nothing is happening, quite the opposite in fact. It's because what's been happening is not exactly exciting adventure news... And I still can't really write everything I wish I could, as it's not really public knowledge.

I know, I'm sorry! I hate being vague! I'm doing OK. I've had an awful time trying to decide what to do about my situation (I suspect that the nausea and tiredness had more to do with that than the medication did); and having come to a decision I have peace, but also a lot of guilt and dread and sadness. I will fill in the gaps one day, but it's all a bit delicate right now. Just to reaffirm: I am fine. I'm not sick, or in danger, or in trouble.

On the bright side, I love church more than ever and I'm so grateful for the fantastic people there. I know that sounds so corny, but I honestly wonder where I'd be without their genuine love and kindness, and how I would spend my weekend if I didn't have such fun and easy-going friends! Having Facebook back has constantly reminded me how much I miss my friends back home, of course, and I can't wait to see you all in less than two weeks!

It's raining here, and everybody has been talking about the oncoming storm that's meant to be the biggest in two years! I love wearing my coat. It's so thick and heavy and it has toggles. Apparently "togs" (swimmers if you're a Queenslander) is a measurement of how warm your duvet is. Never knew this. Also, "flip them the bird" is not an expression used here. Neither is "say what?" That always gets a good laugh.

A piece on culture~

Accents. I'm in a park listening to an Indian-looking lady speaking in a beautiful Scottish one and I think it's maybe my favourite. Londonish has become a bit normal and boring - always was really. I like Northern Irish ones too, actually Irish ones in general. Everybody does.

I'm deciding that the English don't break down and cry. Haven't seen an adult do so yet. If there's a problem they just have a good moan (more than usual) and get on with it. People have beaten 'keep calm and carry on' pretty much to death - it's everywhere - but it's true! It's not 'no worries, she'll be right in the end' like an Aussie, or 'drama drama drama let's yell' like I don't know which culture but surely one of them, but 'blooming heck for goodness sake what a pain, right where's the phone I'll call the electrician.' Or something like that. I suppose I don't know people that well yet, but I've been here long enough to agree with everyone who warned me about the complaining. We all do it I guess. It just gets so boring (more boring than the usual manner). Especially when it's about the weather. Ah, the weather. I'm becoming Borish!

Pong

This post is a top up on gooey feely and boring life stuff. The weather is just lovely - it's been 26, though locals say "Oh my gosh it's 30 degrees outside. Sooo hot. Ugh, the heat!" I've burnt myself in the kitchen five times since moving here: twice today being hot oil on my foot and an oven tray on my wrist. Last week was an oven tray to the forearm. Maybe it's because I'm spending more time properly cooking than I ever have... surely that's not true? Anyway I've finished Drop Dead Diva and moved onto Torchwood. Geez it's graphic sometimes. Much rougher than Doctor Who. I know that I'm using TV as a wind down, but I don't think that's such a bad thing. Apart from the two hours off in the morning while Little Miss is at nursery it's a long day. I think I'll be joining an evening bible study this week. Today was good, mostly. I skyped my family. Man I miss you guys. Sometimes (and I've probably written this before) I wonder why I left behind the best five people in the world, as well as a great town with a great church full of really great people who are dear friends, a good job, a good car, a slightly less than OK university (hmm anyway) to come here where I don't know anybody. I didn't even know that the plural of pennies is pence and that there are one hundred in a pound when I arrived. I think half of my feeling-alien-ness comes from growing up in the country and now living in a wealthy part of London. But it's beautiful, and I really like my new church. On Thursday I'll have been here for two months - WOW! That second month whizzed by like a four year old girl on a scooter (you'd be surprised! It's a good thing I can run in my new flip flops!).

And here endeth the reel. I have the windows open because it's hot and I'm on the third floor, but something outside reeks so it's time I put my face in the pillow. In, not on.

Sunny Day in London

Ah finally the Blogger app for iPhone has allowed horizontal typing. Here is a happy post after I put all the whinging in an email to my mum - sorry mum!

Well I've spent a beautiful day starting with church, following on with a church barbeque which I was kindly & spontaneously invited to, finishing with church in the evening. Right now I'm in the park killing time before hand but I prefer to do that than go home and turn around again. It's such a sunny day - I GOT SUNBURNT!  Not proud but very pleased with the weather.

This church is unlike St Marks in that the services are not considered separate congregations or even separate churches, but the evening is more of an add-on for those wanting a slightly less formal and organy do, hence it's a wee bit smaller.

I've been Christened 'Jesso' after admitting that some people back home do in fact call me that. Introducing the word 'bogan' caused a huge sensation, but 'wife beater' didn't really compute. I can't believe so many people here watch Neighbours. 'What? No badgers?' 'The mullet, that's an Australian hairdo right?' 'Have you eaten kangaroo?' I could say yes to that last one happily. 

Oh I still have to write a post about my Tower Hill explorations yesterday. For now here's a picture of something yummy I have not seen in Australia - it looks like an ordinary Snickers bar but it's ice cream!!

Hermit mumbles

I had a completely lazy day today. It rained. Welcome to summer! I made a discovery with my aunty on the phone that the average max temp for summer in London is quite similar to the numbers that Brisbane is having... right now. Funny old world.

I was going to go to Camden Markets or go and see Westminster Abbey or something. But I am wretchedly tired and needed one of those nothing days to regain my composure after a long week. London sights aren't going anywhere. Besides, the air show for the Queen's birthday flew right over our house so I could see it from my window. (I didn't realise what it was at first, because the planes were flying so low and they didn't look like passenger planes. I'm not one to freak out about stuff even if it's possible, and the sky was too blue for an invasion, but it certainly came into my head.)

Sorry there's no interesting news, and I know I go on about being tired a lot but if you saw the skin around my eyes you wouldn't wonder. Oh actually I rode in a convertible car yesterday, my host mum has one. The roof was down. That's a first for me. The dad has a porsche, and I guess when I got a lift home from the airport that was my first time in one of those too. I'm such a country kid... Little Man asks me what kind of car I have, and I say "Toyota Camry." One time he said "Oh yeah I've ridden in one of those." "Uh-huh, do you know what they look like?" "Yeah, um, sports car." Mmmhmm. It's a pretty wealthy neighbourhood. There's a stretch limo parked outside the school every afternoon, I have no idea why. Maybe I don't want to know.

When I'm me, I'm punning.

It actually feels like summer. I had no sleeves outside at 6:30pm and sweated in my boots. It is looking up my friends! I tried elderflower cordial the other day, my host mum bought it because it's a very British thing, and it's yummy. I made a roast vegetable lasagna this week which actually worked! And then I made bolognese the next day and ate beef. Not that I'm a big meet head at all, but I don't remember the last time I ate pork in Australia. After burning myself on the oven I peeled a fair piece of skin off of my thumb, it bled a lot. But I'm not letting that bruise my cooking esteem. (Haha, steam.)

Just an aside: so far I gather that British people think Australia is this huge, glorious expanse of relaxed holiday park where the roads are straight and smooth, and people loll about all day by the pool digesting their barbeque lunch before they head to the beach. We all love cricket and rugby (?) and every day is hot and lovely and people live in Sydney, Perth, Adelaide and um... Queensland. When I'm describing where I'm from I don't bother saying halfway between Sydney and Brisbane like I would to a naive Aussie, I shape my fingers to a rough outline of Australia and point "somewhere around there." "Six hours north of Sydney" is the other one. I'm sure not everyone is that uninformed but it's fun to generalise, right?

And I visited the FIEC church nearby this night and... Yes. I think yes. Much I could write but that is all for now.

The British Museum - love the black security guard's face. Oops.

I changed my mind - here are some photos of the last few days.

Armidalesque clouds I feel

Books in the BM library. Loved it.
(Don't look closely at the reflection..)

3500ish year old dead guy in his grave. Wow.
(Sorry about the reflection)

V&A - no photos of stuff inside. Go there.

Elephants!! BM shop.

Books & Blue tac

Just a quick update to say that I'm alive and pretty much over my cold, just in the occasional-sneeze-or-cough-and-ears-still-blocking-up phase. It's good. But it rained all night and it's threatening to rain again which means the kids & me are stuck indoors. It's half term holidays so there's no school - it's a shame we can't be out and about! Exploring the town!

I got out the handful of books I brought over and I put them on display on the shelf under the TV. It has made so much difference - my room feels more like a room. I cosied it up some more by moving the furniture closer to my bed and I'm beginning the decorating stage. Paper craft!! Just need to dig up the sewing machine in the attic and buy some blue tac and I'm set. I hope.

Oh it just started raining.

My Fair Lady

Are you wondering what I do all day?

There's two kids I look after, the boy (obviously I'm not going to say who they are on the blog) goes to school and the girl, nursery in the mornings. I help get them ready (like NEGS in microcosm but not really) and we walk to school together. It's like half the street walks too - kids on scooters everywhere and mums in coats. I love it. But it's darn cold. No colder than the Dale gets but golly this is May (spring).

And then in the afternoons, the usual stuff: Hiding from giants, monsters and ghosts; getting trapped in caves; buying a car from Tesco (and instead of paying twenty-six pounds you get given fifty); hide-and-seek and oh! you're in the basket again; royal weddings (I was the prince); googling pictures of possums after the typical term of endearment went straight over the target's head (but when native Australian animals showed massive shark mouths we googled my house instead); explaining why there's only half a mouse seen in front of the trap outside; watching the worst show ever - H20 - and it's Australian! blurgh; making daisy chains; making cookies (chose that over scones); swinging in the park (it must have been below 10 degrees); singing Bingo, Five Little Ducks, Away in a Manger, London Bridge is Falling Down... school pick up again and a taste of Little Britain. Even more blurgh - it's like Monty Python was a really good looking apple then it went mouldy and there were some worms and that's Little Britain. It might taste a bit apply (or be a bit funny) but no thank you.

Then it's dinner-bath hour and after that just chillin'. After I finish writing this I'll go to bed, even though it's not completely dark outside yet. Just an aside - I'm sorry if I repeat myself, it's just I can't be bothered remembering what I wrote in an email and what I wrote in my last post.

In all seriousness I am really enjoying this new thing. I can't call it just a job and I'm still me so it's not a new life. Though I've only been here four days I think I'm going to be pretty content. The posts now may be sparse until I have something new to talk about. I'm not really itching to leap into London town really soon; I'd rather just get to know my area and my new community and wander around until I want to stretch my horizon. (Come to think of it I still don't know which way's north..)

Overuse of parenthesis! Criticising myself again at the end of a post!
Woo, top of 14 tomorrow, sunny with 83% chance of showers. I need to invest in a raincoat.

Brambles

I'm sorry to disappoint, but I haven't been able to take photos of the pretty streets because every time I'm outside there are people around, and I wouldn't want to give the wrong idea. I think it's probably better that I don't anyhow because it's the internet. You know.

You'll be pleased to know that we're enjoying some lovely freezing grey weather and that it rained all of yesterday. On the way home from the school drop off I took a peek up the river behind the house and here are some photos -

Beautiful, huh. Nettles, ivy, brambles, grey sky, wet grass. I hope there's sunny day soon to go out again. Apparently if you walk further out it becomes fields. I must definitely be in the best part of London.. for a country kid. (I couldn't bring myself to write 'gal,' I hate that word).
You know one thing I find hard to do? Lip-read. Different accents are fine enough to understand if you can hear them but not if there's no sound. Just an interesting part of adjusting.

Funny words? Yoghurt - pronounced like bog-ert (if that were a word); privacy - the 'i' is like is snip; singlets are called vests and one of the kids mentioned flip flops the other day so I better be careful with that one. Is their word the same as America I wonder? The milk, I noticed, comes in 4 pint bottles (a little over 2L).  What I would call corn (or corn on the cob) is called sweet corn, but maybe that's not just Britain. The kids watched some Top Gear this morning and the theme music actually made me smile even though at home I would have groaned since Seamus watches it all the time. I'm thinking about cooking scones this morning but that could be kind of... pretentious? (Thanks for your word Izzy). Seeing new birds was exciting, and they sing from sunrise even when it's cold. But all in all it's a similar place - there are people who walk to school (in coats), ride bikes, drive cars, go to the park. The gardens are just lovely - tulips, bluebells, other plants that probably each have a name as well... Everything is so green. SO green. But I'm comparing it to Autumn in Armidale where there's been no rain for ages and all the flowers are dead.

And now I am most definitely rambling. Hope you liked the photos!

Daisies!

My new host family picked me up from the airport (it was about 9pm local time) and drove me to my new home. I have felt so welcomed from the very start by everyone - the kids are fantastic and we're buddies already, and I feel comfortable and, well, 'at home' in the house too. I managed to sleep most of that night, but I guess that's not surprising since I'd only had 4 hours or so in the last two days. Literally. (Thanks to those people who texted late Friday night, but I really did wish I'd put my phone on silent... still love ya!)

The next day, Sunday, I woke up quite early but I lay in bed and had that long-anticipated leaving-home cry. I read an unopened letter from my mum and a handbook from my au pair agency on how to deal with homesickness and I just sobbed. It surfaced a bit throughout the day but I'm good now. I was feeling bad before I left that I wasn't crying when saying my goodbyes - so now you can happily know that mine just came late. I finished unpacking which was really helpful psychologically, and had tea and toast. After some chatting and being shown around the house properly we went "into the village." This doesn't really make sense to an Aussie, you're thinking 'huh? I thought you were in London?' But I think it's like your suburb is your community, with a row of shops like a nicer Uralla and pretty much all you'd need week by week, and "town" is London-London: the city bit. Or the next suburb might have department stores and such if you need a new phone or clothes.

Anyway the "village" is just lovely. I'll take some pictures of the streets tomorrow and post them but they're not going to do it justice - it is so much prettier than I ever imagined and street viewed. There's a little river that runs behind our house... yes! A river! Think really really green grass with daisies (daisies everywhere! on the roadside! made a daisy chain today with real daisies not clover..!) and big green trees overhanging with blossoms blowing everywhere and a little wooden bridge.

There's a nice park too and a lake down the road surrounded by woodland with a fake beach. We went there for a festival type thing, which was a bit like a market and a fete but less commercial and more... folky. There was Morris Dancing - see photo - and if I had have known it was called that before, I would have got the joke "Which one's Morris?" Haha. There was a barbeque, which I called a sausage sizzle, and found that that's not a widely used phrase here... It was kinda surreal to hear accents everywhere, and people just look English. Not in the way they dress but their faces. I dunno. Saw a bunch (I think there were five) of teenage fellas walk out of a store and one of them had a granny cardigan and I nearly laughed out loud. You can see in the photo the grey sky - it rained as we were leaving - but we've actually had some nice sun and we played on the trampoline today. People have said it's unusually cold for May, probably a good thing for me though or I'd think too highly of England too soon...!
I love this area, though; and my house and room are so nice.

It's 9:09pm but still not pitch black - kind of that grey where you've got your headlights on and decided to leave the clothes on the line overnight and you can't really tell who it is walking down the street but the window's still blue not black. I'm going to wrap up here because I just want to show some pretty pictures of the place next.

I was listening to the BBC radio and heard an ad for the finale of Doctor Who this week, but I forgot to keep watching after episode 2 - I feel like a bit of a wally!