My day

Well let's just say that getting off to school this morning was a bit of a drama, so after that I decided to go for a walk along the river. It's so pretty, I love it; and I wanted to find that echoey train tunnel... I wandered along further than before, then sought out the path through the paddock of shoulder-high grass. I came to a gate but it was to the main road which I don't think has a footpath, so I turned around and found my way through nettles (was safely clad in warm jeans, boots and coat despite it supposedly being summer) to what opened into a small flattened nest-like area with... a purple balloon? Ugh that's not a balloon. Yuck yuck yuck. I came away feeling disgusted and very disappointed, and on the path back to the river I saw slugs. Seems it was destined to be a bad day.

But then I found a place to cross the river, and on the other side there's a proper path made of gravel leading through a much nicer open mowed grass area. Passed some friendly dog walkers and eventually found the tunnel!

The path divided and led to the main road again (I saw a notice that I think said path closed - oops), or through a golf course. Not sure how to get to those fields mentioned but I'll keep exploring. By then I was sneezing constantly and my eyes were weeping from hay fever, so I went home and had ice cream and watched some drop dead diva before pick-up time at the nursery. Now I'm sitting in the swing while Little Miss makes new friends at the park. She's good at that.

Spot the pidgeons!

Yesterday was my one-month-in-England day, and I didn't even commemorate it with a post. Oh well.

I met the kid's grandparents and they're lovely. I feel at home already with them which is great. There are some
things about being a nanny which I find draining and often disheartening. It's hard work. I need strategies but mostly just love and patience. And a good walking path like the second one I discovered today. Not the first. The second one of which I saved some for another day...

I'm sleeping better now. I still wake up at 5, but I go back to sleep again and wake up around 6:30 or 7. I think I just needed it so badly and told myself to change the pattern. If you expect to wake at 3 - you will. If you think you're so tired you'll sleep through - well you've a better chance. I realised I'm doing that eat-when-bored/stressed thing. And there's so much snacky sugary salty stuff in these cupboards it cannot go well. Actually it goes really well. Which is not well at all. Deary me.

Anyway, happy birthday Sarah & James! It's yesterday's jam for you now, but I'm still on the 12th. Hope you had a great day.

I saw a squirrel

Hmm, so that last post was a bit mental. I didn't reread and edit it like I should have, so that's just raw produce from the thinking factory. Here's some more...

Well I've been meandering along wishing I had a buddy my own age. When I step out of the house I see parents, kids and old people. Sometimes, when a girl under thirty without a pram walks by, I want to grab her by the shoulders and say: "You DO exist in this town!" Or a man who isn't grey haired or slouching passes me on the path I think to myself "So it's not a soccer-mum-bmw-retirement-home-bus-stop pocket of the world after all! NB: That is a grotesque generalisation of my image of my village so far.

A quaint bin

When I was stepping out of the post office today after these thoughts had been eeling through my head for a while, I saw a girl who I'd seen before going through the nursery at pick up time. She was early twenties, tall, really pretty, and snippets that I'd heard of her accent sounded European. She was jogging along and stepped beside me to say hello. (Man, if I was a guy you would read this paragraph so differently!) Anyway we're two somewhat alienised Au Pairs and I don't know why God would want to do good things for me but there you go. I wanted a friend and here's a really nice Italian girl who is here till September. I saw another squirrel today and the sun even came out this morning - for a bit. Though it hardly climbed above 8 degrees all day and rained at lunch, time I'm not losing hope. When the "get on a plane and go home" thought comes along, which it does occasionally, it's always snuffled with "you would regret that forever, but this is going to be really good for you in pleasant and unpleasant ways." (The funny thing about a thought, though, is that when you think it you don't have to construct it into a sentence, and so I read that and think it's part of some lame scientist-villain's monologue and now I'm hearing his annoying nasal voice and imagining I'm strapped to a dentist chair. Cool. Any suggestions for a better word than "pleasant" would be welcome.)

At Heathrow Airport after I got off the plane, there's a lot of walking to do and I passed a toilet block but I went into the one just before the UK border (the bit where you line up and show your passport). To look "my best" for my new host family I was about to meet, I redid my hair and brushed my teeth, I put some deodorant on and then looked in the mirror and said something like "OK. Let's go live the rest of my life!"
I think (hopefully) I'm understanding and gaining the overlapping distinction between needing your family and loving your family. I have needed my family for perhaps more than I even realise now, but with them so far away and tricky to talk to it makes you do stuff on your own. What I mean is, I'm doing that last bit of growing up. I think. I always worry that there's so much I don't know about being older... Oh wait, that's not something to worry about, really, is it. If I knew everything I'd be dead or wish I was.

Enough philosophy!
OK, to be honest, I'm sort of scared that all this "I'm cool with it" business and 'coping well' is a facade, and really deep down everything is an imminent explosion of panic, sadness, insecurity and, well, not being well. It's hard to know. But maybe I am just big enough to handle it - most of it - with what I've got. I guess I've come at the right time.

Now really, onto lighter things!
Here's a photo of the view from my window...

It was a really sunny day that day. The buildings look kind of boring in this picture, but really they're lovely. Mostly unique, too. I love the ones with wisteria growing around the windows. The whole street is lined with blossom trees and there's a classic red post box opposite our house. Not that we don't have them in Australia, but it gives it that touch, you know? It's a very wealthy area. I'm enough of an outsider being Aussie, but my oh my, I can just imagine the looks I'd get driving Theodore (my '98 camry) around with his usual dust coat. I'm even thinking about buying a hair straightener!?! Oh dear.

The music taste of Little Man (not that I ever call him that, he's nearly 10, but for want of a better code name I'll stick to it) is 1960 - 1990 rock, mostly, so we like to talk about U2 and The Rolling Stones, and he also loves The Police and ACDC. That Gotye song is a favourite as well, and I've heard it on the radio 3 times now. He plays a bit of guitar and piano and is happiest when he's being helpful - but sometimes a little over enthusiastic with peeling carrot!

Shaun Tan dandelion bud

There was something else I wanted to say but I can't remember what, so I'll finish with some more pictures. Yes, I like flowers and trees and quirky village stuff - if you want Big Ben you can google it. Daisies grow in the sunny parts but bluebells grow everywhere, wild all along the river. The other day Little Miss and I went for a walk. It's shady and lush and a little purple or white bunch of bluebells is so enchanting. If fairies weren't thought of yet, you'd certainly envisage them (or yourself as one) in this place.

Me and Little Miss

Brambles

I'm sorry to disappoint, but I haven't been able to take photos of the pretty streets because every time I'm outside there are people around, and I wouldn't want to give the wrong idea. I think it's probably better that I don't anyhow because it's the internet. You know.

You'll be pleased to know that we're enjoying some lovely freezing grey weather and that it rained all of yesterday. On the way home from the school drop off I took a peek up the river behind the house and here are some photos -

Beautiful, huh. Nettles, ivy, brambles, grey sky, wet grass. I hope there's sunny day soon to go out again. Apparently if you walk further out it becomes fields. I must definitely be in the best part of London.. for a country kid. (I couldn't bring myself to write 'gal,' I hate that word).
You know one thing I find hard to do? Lip-read. Different accents are fine enough to understand if you can hear them but not if there's no sound. Just an interesting part of adjusting.

Funny words? Yoghurt - pronounced like bog-ert (if that were a word); privacy - the 'i' is like is snip; singlets are called vests and one of the kids mentioned flip flops the other day so I better be careful with that one. Is their word the same as America I wonder? The milk, I noticed, comes in 4 pint bottles (a little over 2L).  What I would call corn (or corn on the cob) is called sweet corn, but maybe that's not just Britain. The kids watched some Top Gear this morning and the theme music actually made me smile even though at home I would have groaned since Seamus watches it all the time. I'm thinking about cooking scones this morning but that could be kind of... pretentious? (Thanks for your word Izzy). Seeing new birds was exciting, and they sing from sunrise even when it's cold. But all in all it's a similar place - there are people who walk to school (in coats), ride bikes, drive cars, go to the park. The gardens are just lovely - tulips, bluebells, other plants that probably each have a name as well... Everything is so green. SO green. But I'm comparing it to Autumn in Armidale where there's been no rain for ages and all the flowers are dead.

And now I am most definitely rambling. Hope you liked the photos!