Bullet points

After the quick decision came quick(ish) action - I've booked my flight home. Yay! I'll be on Australian soil on Wednesday the 17th of September. Unfortunately my excitement for going home is barely audible underneath a forceful surge of homesickness. I suspect that booking the flight is what caused it, but if that's not the case I'm glad I booked when I did, for if I'd left it any later I might have been on the next plane outta here. There's more I've got to do here before I leave. There's a baby I wanna meet and places I wanna see, not to mention friends I'm not wanting to leave.
But mostly I just wanna go home. I miss my family more than ever.


Four more weeks then I'm done with the office. (Yippee!)
Moving house on Friday to live with another couple from church and their little one, as the couple I'm living with now are having their own little one. Yes of course I've given them name suggestions. Yes of course.
Gonna visit a friend in Belfast with a friend next month.
Might go on a camp or two.


That's all the news at the moment.

Mid Year Review

Recently my plans for the year went under review. Normally when this happens it takes weeks of deliberating and worrying and talking (my housemates deserve a medal for patience) and when I finally make a decision it takes another three weeks to feel that it was the right one. But last Saturday I went to the toilet then washed my hands then stared at myself in the mirror and began a conversation... through it I accepted that I don't want to travel Europe this year, I just want to go home. The idea of roaming a continent on my own biding my time before I get to be in Armidale with my family and friends again sounds like a lonely, stressful adventure. I wouldn't be able to appreciate it at all - I'd only be doing it because I felt that I should while I have the time and money. I know that I used to write that I was frustrated because I didn't have the cash, well I changed my mind, I just want to go home. I'll go home and then save up to come back and visit the UK and do Europe. That's the plan.

So I'm thinking mid September. That's three and a half months away, though heaven knows it could change again. My work contract ends on August 8 and at the moment I can't see myself accepting any more work if it were to come up, so over August I will see some more of the UK and find interesting things to do that don't involve digital screens (meaning I won't just watch TV all the days).

To any UK friends who will read this, please don't take it personally that I'm leaving sooner. I have had such a good time here and whenever I look on flight booking websites I get teary because it's going to be so hard to leave this behind. Anybody knows that I love my church here. Some days when I consider how I'll have to say goodbye I wish I had never come because I don't want my friendships here to fizz out - hell, some of you are like family to me and I'll miss you so badly. But the reality is I believe that coming to the UK was one of the best things I ever did and I'm so grateful for all the beautiful people I've come to know. And I haven't left yet!!

To my Australian friends and family, without contradicting the above paragraph, I can hardly wait....!

Things To Do

Since I turned 21 I've felt the presence of a dangerous and daring task looming overhead, and today I thought to myself I ought to uncover the sacred commandments to remind myself... What I had forgotten was that there was a time limit. I have less than three months to accomplish this mission appointed to me by my dear friends back in Australia... details as follows:

Things To Do When You're 21
1. Cartwheel down a hill
2. Make a prank call pretending you are a telemarketer
3. Sing "Call Me Maybe" in a public place
4. Eat a Mars Bar sandwich
5. Get a fake tattoo and wear it on your knee
6. Get a cheap canvas and create a self portrait
7. Insert "Today I put a raisin up my nose" in a blog post
8. Trace around your hand, write your name in it, then walk up to a stranger, give it to them and say "This is a high 5!"
9. Talk in a thick English accent for a whole day (or as long as you can)
10. Memorise Psalm 25
11. Go 3 three days in a row without the internet
12. Find something outside (eg. rock) and paint it green with a black smiley face :)
13. Pick/buy a flower for a stranger
14. Listen to "I'm Bringing Sexy Back" every day for a week
15. Take a selfie in a public place, with your tongue out.
16. Write a song (and record it)
17. Write a note and put it in a bottle
18. Make a white shirt with a tea cup on it and Skype Sarah whilst wearing it
19. Find 3 different things to be thankful for each day
20. Eat a teaspoon of cinnamon
21. Complete scavenger hunt attached

Scavenger Hunt: (we shall call them 1b etc.)
1b. A photo of a favourite new food you've had overseas
2b. Write a letter to yourself saying how you honestly feel about life, God, friends, family etc.
3b. A small souvenir from a tourist shop
4b. A coin that you found
5b. A photo with a new friend
6b. A shoelace
7b. A sticker that captures your personality
8b. Something green
9b. Something that makes you laugh
10b. A drawing of something you will miss

I'm tempted to declare that 7 is technically completed, but I know that's not the true spirit of the quest. The problem is, I don't want to allow any lies onto this blog so I'm actually going to have to put a raisin up my nose. Or get someone else to, and then tell me about it so I can write about it. Or, I could always stick the words "Imagine if"in front...

9 may actually happen some time soon. I wouldn't say mine is thick, but I've definitely got one.

13 has been done recently - I picked a flower and when my friend didn't want it I gave it to a little toddler who smiled shyly and walked away. But I could do it again.

18 has context, which makes me smile.

19 is a bit of a problem - I've kind of started a bit late. But I'm gonna need to have 1,095 things by the time I'm 22. It's definitely doable though.

And 21 should be fun! 7b is gonna be tricky.

A Year Later

The 11th of May is the anniversary of my arrival in the UK. Can you believe it?! I don't know if I can. It's an hour to midnight and I'm dying to reactivate my facebook account so that I can share a celebratory status - but how sad is that? It doesn't matter how many people like the fact that I survived a year on my own in a foreign country (though not that foreign when they speak your language... mostly); I need to figure out how I feel first. 

Was it a year wasted? Definitely not. I know I've wasted some of the year, but I'm not that hung up on it because we only do what we can at the time. I have learnt and grown so much. I know I've changed, and not all for the better. But I'm closer to something. Have I sorted out my life yet? Definitely not. Lets not even open that can of worms today.

I am still an Aussie. I'm fully aware of my parasitical London accent habits and all the British idioms that sneak their way into my speech - 'have you not?'; 'brill'; 'Hoover' and all that rubbish ('rubbish') - but I still think and act like I always did. In fact, any distinguishing feature of my personality (such as my charming tendency for bossiness and opinionatedness) has most likely been amplified since being unique here has encouraged me to be even more so. With the possible exception of my sarcastic nature - I had to tone that down a little to make friends. Now that I've got them, though, I can say what I want... (That was sarcasm. But it's true as well.)

And now it's 11:30pm. At this point in the composition of a post I would naturally flow into a theological or existential reflection, and bring you into the miserable world of my circular inner debate. I've started several paragraphs of this kind but it's late and I'm tired and it's too hard to think about. I've got a switchfoot song in my head because I've been playing it on repeat, it's called: 'Where I Belong.' I don't know where home is right now, and I'm scared that I won't be happy anywhere. But happiness is fleeting. I want to live in full conviction of the true purpose of life and be fully satisfied. Or at least, be able to believe it even when I feel lost. I wish God was that big and that good. I wish I could believe it. Then maybe I could come to love a God who is the reason I'm alive. But the way I see it, God is the reason that many, many people are not alive. How can he be a good god?

Oh I did it anyway. I should have just gone to bed.

May Day List

With less than a year to go on my visa, it's time to start a list of all the things I need to do before I go back to Australia. I'll call it the May Day List and you can access it here, or by the link on the left side column. If you think of anything please post a comment (you can post anonymously!) I've barely got anything so far so do help me out.

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

When I started this job, it was 6 weeks of temporary work. I was expecting to have to go on the hunt again for something that would tie me over till the end of the year, and I was dreading being unemployed again. I was frustrated that I might not be able to travel before I went home due to lack of cash.
My job is still carrying on, though, at 2 days a week which is ideal for studying and doing life. My contract is now until June 13th. I'm very grateful! As my mum said, God continues to provide. I'm much less stressed about my future. Now I begin to consider what I will juggle later on in the year in terms of uni, other work, travel, etc. And of course, the big decision of when to move home. November is still the most likely candidate.

Uni is going OK, I'm terribly undisciplined and last minute; but for me it's not about the marks. I just want to teach one day, and that's the only thing that gets me to work.

Ironically, at the Christian convention in Wales, I spent no time at all on my own reflecting on what I was hearing in the bible talks and where I was at with God. Before you frown and ask why, please step into my head for a minute. I am constantly thinking about the meaning of existence and trying to figure out who I am and what I'm supposed to do to live a purposeful and genuine life. My emotions and my reasoning debate the significance of good and evil and I am trying so hard to wrap my head around the big questions of the bible. I get myself into knots. I get down. It's a heavy burden that I find hard to ignore. But in Wales, I spent time with fantastic people, all day every day, I was at the beach out of the city and there was not a dull moment. I had no chance to think. So I stepped out of my philosophical obsessions and just enjoyed myself. I had a break from my mind. It was wonderful, and as soon as I was home I sat on the stairs for an hour wishing I wasn't alone yet. I was supposed to have sorted out my whole life in that week, but instead, much to my delight, I had days of happiness. And since I got back, things have been working themselves out - for example, the extra work, and a place to live when my "housies'" baby comes (a family at church kindly offered to have me)...

I want answers to my questions. I do. But in some ways, I just need to be patient and let life happen and answer them for me. OK, so some of the talks I went to were on Providence, and I did take stuff away from them that I hope is true. That God is in the detail.

North Wales

First the photos. There are a lot of them. It was hard to decide which ones to include.

We stayed at a place called Prestatyn, in a caravan park near the beach.

Hey Dad! Look! Tamworth!

There's a lighthouse, real small

It was real windy

I found a thing.

Loved these, so cute

Me trying to slide down the sand dune on a frisbee. It didn't work.

We climbed a hill.

The sunsets every night were amazing

We went to Denbigh, a medieval town.

A quick drive-by shooting

This is what happens when you take a photo while walking down a hill.

And here is a place near Mount Snowdon - the tallest mountain in England and Wales. I can't remember the name of the place but even if I could, I wouldn't be able to spell it. Anyway it was very pretty, and we went on a scenic steam railway and to a slate museum.

The water was really clear

I loved this photo.

I like the Welsh spelling of 'engine'

Sunset back in Prestatyn. I think this is first time I ever saw the sun set over the ocean.

On the way back to London we stopped at a place near Dudley in the Midlands - this place had fossils. We also had lunch at the world famous Pie Factory. I had a pie. It was tasty.

It was so sunny I actually came home tanned. I had a really nice time.